No Yelling

It was suggested that I  go for 365 days without yelling at my kids.

Ir wasn't a challenge......It wasn't a bet....more like a last ditch effort before took my place in the Motherhood Hall of Fame somewhere between Dina Lohan and Casey Anthony.

That unemployed chick from Boston spent the year devoting herself to preparing everything from the Julia Child cookbook and at the end  came out with the book deal and roast.  My goal is pretty simple.... to not take the bait that my 14 year old diva daughter and 10 year savage son are willing to dish out on moments notice.

Day 1 .....

6:12 am

Diva Daughter - "My iphone isn't charged ....you broke it when you hurled it at me the other day, and it hasn't worked since .....you need to get me a new one today ......Where's my shorts ?....You know the pair you hate because you say my ass sticks out .....I need to wear them today for the 8th grade picnic ....and ......and ....and....."

What I say...... "Good Morning"

What I want to say ..."Your iphone is shot .....youre pretty much fucked ....you threw it at me.... tell ya what ......have that scumbag father who left with all the money and the Hungarian whore buy you a new one .....and as for the shorts ...they took their rightful place in the nearest trash can  where they belong...."

7:23 - 10 year old Savage has been dragged out of bed.

I say " Good morning "

Savage does not respond because he is still not talking to me from yesterday evening when he was put to bed at 7:45 for being a pain in the ass.


My goals for this year for Savage are the following ..

1) Use a fork.
2) Go to 4th grade.
3) Stop singing the same three lines of that shitty Katy Perry song Fireworks.

The no yelling with Savage was easy ....I was given a pass with him not talking to me during breakfast. He didn't answer me when I asked about what he wanted to eat for breakfast so I was able to serve any random crap that we had in the back of the refrigerator. 

On the way out the door he told me the following  ..." I don't want you at the 3rd grade writer celebration ...you're not allowed to come. "

What I said ...." That's a shame I was looking forward to that"

What I wanted to say ..."Thanks for the pass buddy ....because at last count I've been to about 120 of these celebrations and it's about as celebratory as a bikini wax." 


6 hours and no yelling.